


Disaster is Imminent

by buying_the_space_farm



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: 4+1, Babbling, Babbling Tony Stark, Disaster Bi Tony Stark, Gift Giving, God!Loki, M/M, Secret Relationship, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, as in loki is a legit god not just an alien, falling, he has MAGIC and hes no afraid to use it, he really is, this is why you tie your shoe laces kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23086753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buying_the_space_farm/pseuds/buying_the_space_farm
Summary: Everyone knows that Tony is in love with Loki-- so the question is, how does Lokinotfucking know?or: 4 times Tony was an absolute disaster and 1 time Loki was scarily competent.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 47
Kudos: 297





	Disaster is Imminent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QuietCanadian9](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietCanadian9/gifts).



> a trade with Quiet!!!  
> bi disaster tony was a prompt recently and this is what i wrote for our trade. hope you enjoy!!!

To say that Tony wasn’t intelligent was an outright lie. He was a genius. He had prizes from various groups that touted that fact around. Since his venture into clean energy, he had Nobel nominations for God’s sake. He was intelligent. Smart. Cool. Collected. These were all just facts.

Except when Loki was around. This was also a fact, unfortunately for him. He didn’t know what to do with himself when Loki was around him. There was no telling what would happen when that  _ truly _ lovely tower of a man was near. In the lab, in the kitchen, in the goddamn  _ living room _ . If he was near, Tony was going to have some sort of accident of the falling kind. Or walking into a wall kind. Or a door. In the case of a kitchen incident, it was not out of the ordinary for Tony to drop a can on his foot and hop around cursing while Loki looked at him like he was a crazy person.

Sure, he would take away a knife if it looked like it was going to gouge out a piece of his flesh, or if there was something on the ground that would break Tony’s foot, but otherwise, Loki watched on like it was a particularly amusing circus just for him.

So far the most exceptional incidents where Tony had been an absolute disaster in front of Loki were as follows:

* * *

1.

James loved Tony. He did. He was his best friend. Had been since MIT. But this— Tony being like this over someone? Hadn’t happened ever in his remembrance. Even when he had been absolutely feral and horny in college. Sending a 14-year-old to college was not a good choice, especially when there were parties to contend with. The people that had tried to have their way with Tony when he was still younger than 17 had had a lot to say to his fists. Well, actually, his fists had had a lot to say to them. Mostly broken noses and ringing ears. 

To say the least, it had been an effective reprimand against creeps who were into young teens who didn’t know better.

Tony hadn’t been so forgiving when he was that age but one day a couple of years ago he had thanked James for protecting him and then said nothing about it since then. Given the fact that he hadn’t said anything before that either, James figured it was a one time subject.

He was okay with that. Protecting his friend was more important than getting thanks for it.

But this— literally tripping over his own feet in the haste to get past Loki or be able to stare at his ass as he walked was— well. It was hilarious. Tony as a young adult out of undergraduate college had managed to be somehow innocent and earnest while still getting all the hot guys and girls. Tony out of college had the swagger needed to bag all the models of all genders. Tony as a billionaire had the knowledge needed to get the models that wouldn’t spill his secrets, not that he told them anything.

In any situation, he was self-possessed and in control. But when Loki was around, Tony was like a schoolboy around his first crush and James had to control his giggles because this was better than John Mulaney’s comedy specials. Better even than the Salt and Pepper diner skit. There was nothing funnier. 

Suave and cool Tony had disappeared forever and in his place was an embarrassing facsimile of the Stark man he had been.

Tony Stark was a mess and James had never enjoyed being his friend more.

But this time, this truly topped all incidents before. 

See, Tony liked to wear converse. They were spunky, as he said. But Tony also said they were too much of a pain to tie and untie in putting them on and taking them off. So  _ this _ idiot would usually leave them untied. This actually tended not to backfire on him but as usual, he was in fine form when Loki was around.

They (as in he and Tony) had been walking towards the elevator from the video game room on the common floor when Loki had walked out of the library and gone towards the elevator as well, nose still stuck in his book.

James could only watch in horror as Tony raced ahead, misstepped, managed to catch himself— and then step on his shoelace and faceplant, feet away from the elevator. 

Loki stepped carefully over him and tapped the up button.

Tony just laid on the floor, not doing anything.

Loki on the elevator and was whisked away.

James quickly walked over towards Tony and prodded him with the toe of his shoe. “You alright, Tones?”

Tony groaned and turned over. “I am a fool of the highest order.”

“I mean, you said it,” he replied.

“I just wanted to get the elevator for him!” Tony said, covering his face with his hands. 

“I know, Tony.” James sighed and reached an arm down for him. “Now come on, get up. We’ll get sympathy pizza, okay?”

“Okay,” Tony said miserably. 

* * *

This wasn’t to say that he was only a physical disaster, he knew that. He was clumsy around Loki, okay, but that wasn't the worst part. No, the worst part was the babbling.

* * *

2.

“Hi, Loki! Have you had breakfast yet? I can get you something?” Carol heard Tony say brightly.

She stopped just outside of the kitchen, tucking herself into the doorjamb.

“I’m fine, Tony, I already ate.”

“Oh,” Tony said, and Carol didn’t have to see him to know he had instantly deflated. There was an awkward silence before Tony bounced back. “Well, there is always lunch! Though I do admit I can only make omelets but they’re pretty damn good omelets if I do say so myself, are you really sure you don’t want one now? I know you aliens have giant appetites.” Carol didn’t hear him take a single breath throughout his entire speech.

“Really Tony, I’m fine. Just came in for some juice.” Carol could hear Loki finally make a move for the fridge, stepping lightly on the linoleum.

She dared to peek into the kitchen only to see the two of them collide, Tony falling almost face-first into Loki’s chest. The only thing stopping him from falling was the firm grip Loki had on his upper arms. 

Tony’s face reddened. 

Carol couldn’t see Loki’s face but she could only guess it looked the same as all the other times Tony had been close to him lately.

Carol decided to rescue him. Tony, that is. No one wanted to be looked at like that by their crush.

She finally walked fully around the corner and said, "Hey Tony! Hey Loki!" 

They instantly sprang apart and ducked their heads.

She raised one eyebrow but otherwise did nothing. 

"So guys, doing anything interesting today?" She asked.

"Reading." "Lab stuff." They both said at the same time, voices overlapping. For some reason, they shot furtive glances at each other before glancing away guiltily.

It was probably nothing.

* * *

Okay, so the babbling wasn't so bad but the gift-giving was. And they were  _ ornate. _ First edition novels of Loki's favorite authors, weapons and armor that he had hand-forged— Tony knew he was a fool for giving them to Loki when he likely didn't want for anything but… he enjoyed it.

Some of his ideas were still in the works but the stuff he could work quickly through while still maintaining quality he whipped through like they were nothing.

* * *

3.

Vision didn't exactly understand humans.

That is to say because he was not human, he didn't understand why they did certain things. He understood Mr. Stark to a point, but as he had spent his literal formative years with him to a point he thought that was appropriate.

But when he accessed JARVIS' data banks, he found no record of the behavior that he was displaying now, bar when he had made the Iron Legion.

But these weren't suits he was making—

It seemed like he was making gifts for Mr. Loki.

Given the likes and dislikes he had expressed over the past months it seemed to be a likely assessment but Vision was unsure as he had yet to see physical proof. They just made their way from room to room with no one seemingly moving them and they were always last seen in Mr. Loki's presence. Vision could only assume he was accepting them and smuggling them back to his rooms unnoticed.

But right now, Vision had apparently stumbled upon a gift-giving session in the living room.

Mr. Loki and Mr. Stark were standing across from each other with Mr. Stark gesturing at each thing he had placed on the coffee table to the left of them. As he gestured, he spoke, naming each thing and why he had gotten it.

"So I made you this and I found you this at a bookstore and then made you this to go with it because I thought you'd like it and—"

"Tony," Mr. Loki interrupted. "You don't have to give me all these things, you know I—" and here his voice dropped to a low rumble and Vision couldn't hear what he said despite his enhanced senses from where he was in the hallway leading to the living room.

"Do you not like them?" Mr. Stark's voice was small.

"That's not what I'm saying," Mr. Loki said and sighed. "Just, you don't have to stress yourself out over these things for me."

Mr. Stark's voice grew brighter. "But it doesn't, because, well, it's for you."

How Mr. Loki didn't know Mr. Stark was in love with him by now, Vision and the others didn't know. But nothing could be done for it, so they watched in as disaster grew ever more imminent. 

Mr. Loki sounded like he was smiling. "Okay then. If you say so."

Vision got the niggling feeling that he should leave them alone then, some instinct he didn't know how to name, so he left, floating back the way he had come, leaving them to their moment.

* * *

So. The gift-giving. Yeah. It was a problem.

But the real sticking point was the fact that he felt totally and absolutely irrepressibly scared for Loki whenever they went out into battle. 

Loki was an Avenger and so was he but—

Loki was an alien god and had his armor on and Tony was armored up too but—

He was irrationally worried, okay?

It all came to a head when—

* * *

4.

Doom didn't  _ think _ he was the best villain the new Avengers had ever faced, he  _ knew  _ it. Marrying technology and magic together was truly a work of genius and none could match it.

Iron Man and Loki were both doing their best to subdue his creations but they would not be successful. They were the most advanced versions yet and they would overpower all who tried to battle them.

He watched as one threw blast after magical blast at Iron Man, slowly but surely chipping away at his defense. Loki was faltering as well, drawing closer to Iron Man, likely trying to make him cover the both of them in battle.

It wouldn't work.

Doom's robots would overpower them all and finally, New York would be his.

He crowed from his vantage point on the Empire State Building as the robot finally overpowered Iron Man and watched as he fell back, bracing himself against Loki's back, both of them floating in the air hundreds of feet up. 

Iron Man glanced back just as Loki turned to face him as well, just for Iron Man to see a large bot, larger than the others had been, start to power up— and aim directly at Loki.

"Loki!" He shouted before spinning and grabbing Loki by the arms, swinging him around so that he took the brunt of the blast on his back, protecting Loki from the worst of the blast.

His armor was blackened and dented where the beam had hit him and Doom watched as each of his arms dropped from Loki and saw him start to fall. 

He fell, Loki staring after him in horror before—

* * *

+1.

Before he was buoyed up on a green force field and a dome of green burst out of Loki, utterly destroying every piece of Doom's tech.

Loki stared down in growing horror at Tony in his arms, faceplate stuck fast on his helmet even as the eyes in the mask grew ever darker.

"Tony," Loki whispered. "Please." He held Tony up with his magic and pried his faceplate off, watching carefully for any signs of life. He held his hand in below Tony's nose and felt warm puffs of air still, so he knew he was alive, but what internal damage there was, he didn't know. 

He Skywalked to a nearby building and carefully laid Tony down, calling on the comm for Carol to come get him and take him back to medical at the tower.

Then he stared up, up, up at Doom from his perch on the tower that had for so long defined New York before Stark Tower had.

He started walking through the sky. then running, feet eating up the distance between them. His hands glowed a dangerous green and he knew his eyes were likely sparking with power as he approached the person who had caused his— who had caused Tony to fall.

He reached Doom and punched him, watching his fist dent the metal of his mask. Doom's head snapped to the side and he heard him gasp through the filter that amplified his voice. He grabbed the mask and ripped it off, flinging it behind him somewhere for it to fall the many feet that was between them and the ground.

Loki growled low in his throat and watched Doom’s eyes widen in well-placed fear. “You went after the wrong mortal, you wretch.”

Doom swallowed before opening his mouth, only to close it again at the look in Loki’s eyes. 

“You are not to show your face here in the city ever again, do you understand?” There was a harmonic undertone to his voice as he spoke, magic clinging even to his words.

Doom nodded, the whites of his eyes showing. 

_ “Leave,” _ he hissed and released Doom. Doom dropped a few feet before engaging his boot thrusters and then he was gone, robots following in his wake.

Loki took a deep breath and calmed the maelstrom that was whirling within him. He was no use so emotional. And Tony needed him.

He whirled a portal into existence and entered the medical wing of the Tower, walking over to the bed that people were swarming. 

“Let me through,” he said, boots clacking across the hard floor.

The people parted, knowing to do what he said when things were this dire.

He looked down at Tony on the gurney for a moment and almost wanted to break down crying at the sight of him. Blood soaked his chest and sides, and his arc reactor was flickering, with it being dark more often than it was light.

But he held himself together. 

He flexed his hands, then placed them on either side of the arc reactor, fingers splayed, touching as much of him as he could.

Power raced down his arms, hands glowing once more, and magic soaked into Tony, whose back arched at the sudden infusion of power.

The people surrounding the bed slowly stepped away, out of the whirlwind that surrounded the two of them.

Loki paid them no notice, pouring everything he had into Tony, desperate to fix him. He felt the tissue beneath his hands knitting itself back together, bones realigning, ligaments sewing themselves back together, arc reactor absorbing the excess magic that was now flowing through Tony’s veins.

Tony’s eyes shot open a few minutes into the process and he lifted his hand to encircle Loki’s wrist. “Stop,” he panted, “before you have nothing left.”

Loki felt a tear slip down his cheek. “I could never have nothing if I have you,” he whispered so only Tony could hear him, but slowly eased the flow of power he was pushing into Tony until it was only a trickle, then finally shut it off completely. He let himself sag until his forehead rested on Tony’s chest, skin cooled by the chill of the arc reactor casing. 

Tony’s hand moved from his wrist to rest in his hair, combing through some of the strands. “Don’t do that again, Loki, I can’t— I can’t lose you.”

“I can’t lose you either, my love,” Loki said, voice rough and finally having lost the dual-tone it had had.

Someone gasped behind them.

“Promise each other? No tossing our lives away?” Tony asked, fingers stilling in Loki’s hair.

Loki nodded. “Promise.” He lifted his head and looked at Tony. “And no more hiding.”

Tony crooked a smile at him, eyes lighting up. “No more hiding.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading everyone and I will be a LESBIAN disaster over you if you comment, thank you


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